(warning for those who do not enjoy reading or do not have the time to read. This is a long long composition; you'd better skip it.)
And so it has begun again.
I find myself once more a student of Assumption University. My ‘sabbatical’, out of the many I've had, was a completely justified one as far as I was concerned. To all my close and beloved, I beseech you to refrain from asking me for the thousandth time when I will be completing my degree. I know that this is a tall order, but I believe you have the mettle for it.
Now down to the dirty business of my first day at school.
Surrounded by the young and free, I did not forget (not for a moment) that I was a relic. It was Marketing Management class and to my dismay the discussion fell upon' group project'. Let me tell you this,
The slogging at school, I don't mind.
The mugging of chapters, I don't mind.
The hours of research, I don't mind.
The droning of voices of lecturers in broken English, I don't mind.
BUT...group projects, now that's a different and horrible animal altogether.
I was determined not to be participative this time around. Participation in whatever form soon leads to my being the one solely in charge of the project. And from there the situation will dreadfully deteriorate to my being the one and only contributor of the project. They’re smart buggers, these university students. I have been fooled many a times. But not this time.
This is the Assumption University way with a strong dash of Thai culture mixed into it.
I shall clam up, look as dumb as possible I determined. I will not say a word, because grammatically correct English is a dead give away. They’re a sharp bunch. My peers will catch me at my own game in a blink of an eye.
I was introduced to my group. And I kept mum.
I was asked to contribute research objectives for the Adidas marketing campaign we have been assigned to put together. And I kept mum.
I was asked to contribute questions for our questionnaire. I kept mum.
I watched and I listened...tick tock…tick tock...9.40a.m....tick tock...tick tock...9.42.am...yes it will soon be 12.00p.m. I reassured myself.
"Do you think we should search the most effective media?" asked one.
"It's TV. I think." said another.
"Yeah! You right. It's the most expensive one. Of course! (Aha!)" said the first one.
"So it's not a research objective?" he asked again.
"No." said the other.
Then there was a lull as they thought really really hard. Clam your mouth my dear, I reminded myself. You are so much older and experienced, it’s just not fair. Give the little kiddies a chance. I giggled evilly to myself.
"Hey you remember Marketing Research?" asked one.
"Yeah, you asked focus group. Asked girl, why she likes to use deodorant." said the other (we were doing a project on Adidas Body Spray so you can see the relation).
"And she answered, 'for social acceptance'. Can you believe it?!" They laughed till tears came out. They laughed like it was the joke of the year.
I was busy controlling a terrible fit of giggle that threatened to break free.
"Then I asked, why social acceptance. You remember? I donno why." asked one, scratching his head.
"Yeah, then she said, "Because my shirt will turn yellow if I don't use deodorant!" answered the helpful other.
"Man!!!" More guffaws.
"She even wrote it on the paper!" Hands slapping on the desks, chuckles, giggles...that soon trailed off into silence.
"Hmm, research objectives right?" asked one.
"Yeah, do you think we can study which media is most exposure." Asked the other, as brilliance dawned upon him.
"Oi, it's the same thing. You asked already just now." Answered the other.
"Oh yeah, right." No he didn’t quite see it that way.
"So it's not a research objectives?" asked again, now more timidly.
"No." the other was sounding terse.
Silence...it is 9.55a.m....tick tock...tick tock...
I am dying.
No research objectives yet in view.
The questions for the questionnaire is not even within the horizon.
I am sleepy.
I have a million research objectives in my head.
Another million questions for the questionnaires.
I’m keeping myself awake by designing an Adidas Body Spray campaign in my head.
If I open my mouth just this once, I will set us all free. And we can go home early.
I look at my peers. They are trying very hard. Glum faces. The leader winks at me. I did a double take. He smiles and winks at me again, his horrible Japanese fringe flopping into his eyes lazily. I think he knows I am a fraud. I am so bored that I can't help but wink back.
With a sinking feeling I realized that I have seriously underestimated my ability to keep my mouth shut. I am terribly bored. Have I said that? I’ll say it again. Terribly bored.
Tick tock...tick tock...it is 9.56a.m.
Soon, I know soon, it will be 12.00p.m.
